Being in love sucks. All you want is for the other person to be happy and only hoping that while pleasing yourself you’re also pleasing them. But I’m just so lost right now. I have no idea what to do or what I’ve done wrong. Why would I want to lose the one person in the world that I’ve ever truly loved and not just had lustrous feelings for. The one person who does not care about my flaws, or anything in my past. If something is wrong then I want to fix it. But I just don’t know how. Wether she likes it or not she is one of my main priorities. I get everything else done I’ve applied for jobs, I get my school stuff done and already have things planned out. It’s what I do. I plan everything out in advanced and then when someone enters my life I just have time for them cause everything else is out of the way. I can’t help it if people don’t hire me for jobs or that I don’t get homework done. But in the long run I know what I have planned for myself will work out. But just I’ve been stressed recently having to be the one who true to hold a family that doesn’t exist together and just having to cope with two years I everything falling apart. I want to be happy and everything and she really does make me happy and I don’t know how I stopped being fun. I just want to know how I’m supposed to be fun when we barely get time to hang out when we aren’t in school. I want to fix everything I want her to be happy just as much as she makes me. I’ll do anything to make this right I just need to know how.
